I am looking out the window,
Waiting for the rain.
I play the guest to my own downfall,
At my expense
I play the game.
 
I see the future crawling
The further on I go.
The old cigars,
The dampened room,
The sun has set,
The rivers flow.
 
I am looking out the window,
This was the view throughout my youth,
Did I escape
or did I fall?
Yet, brick by brick, I build the wall.
 
I see the world is yearning,
Oh, round and round I go…
This gilded cage has no escape,
They’ve lost the key,
But there is hope.
 
I am looking out the window,
somehow it always seems to rain…
I long for change,
I long for snow,
I long to live…
…I long to go.

                                               ...Toffears

...Beat
and I breathe.

...Beat
and I breathe.

Deeply,
take a breath.

Beat,
and I focus,
I believe.

Breathe
and I live.
Breathe and be.

...Beat
and I breathe.

...Beat
and I breathe.

...and it Stops...
I had no control.

eXit


                       ...Toffears

...I bore my name in the land of my birth.
I had no choice, but I was honoured.

Such hate, with words only...
Blame, Whispers, Hearsay...
Jealousy.

Enmity,
by birth,
by name...
For this dominion...
This land that we both craved.

And though my heart stopped beating
for no other reasons
             than that of my birth,
             than that of my name,
             than for this dominion,
             this land that is now my grave,
my watch never stopped ticking,
those guns never stopped firing.


Time soon drew a blank.
Unobtrusively, we became Anonymous.
A footnote in a history book.


Let it be said:
         The last culture on Earth will have nothing to share.
​
                                                                                 ...Toffears

...A life,
a Birth
and a Cause.

Strong be my beliefs,
still I feud and brawl
to be granted but a few more years.

Still the heart is feeble.
And then... the Question...

                                             ...Toffears

...When is the last time you felt free?

               ...Yesterday, when I wrote it.

                                             
                      
​                                               ...Toffears

...Light a candle and it burns,
they say.

Left or right,
and at the Summit,
I found no trace
but for a worthless headstone
and a hole in the ground.

For what were we expecting
when we resolved to live?

                                     ...Toffears

...All the more fleeting
than Memory and Life,
this Desert bares no Shifting Sands,
no Caravans,
no Horizon.
 
So soon here,
So soon forgotten.
 
No matter how fatalist one may be,
There is always hope.

...allegiance to the Servitude of Self
bares no Honour.

                                             ...Toffears

...walls surrounding,
no protection,
isolation.

...narrowing echo,
fears grown,
isolated.

...worthless Life,
painless,
pointless,
segregation.

             ...Toffears

...blossom anew,
by the window,
by the door.

A letter, signed.

The famine struck,
Dominions and Dust.
So were we.

                    ...Toffears

...of everything,
I have only touched the surface.

Deeper passion,
like a Prison to the sun
of which I am now sentenced.

Of everything,
I only took a glance.

                               ...Toffears

...this is where they brought me,
this is where I stood.

My name, gone,
lost
along with any memories of my voice.

                                              ...Toffears

...between the Self,
Pure Nature,
the Entertaining World is thin, but solid.

Realise, Break.

Facing foul windows,
Open spaces,
undefined...

Violence,
self-made.

                                                  ...Toffears

...every emotion you feel
is of your own creation.

You cannot hide from yourself
as you do from a mirror...

                                    ...Toffears

...in the colours of the clouds,
carving through Winds,
I came upon a hill
of broken light and melted sand.

How could I see the fields below?

Where once walked a human being,
now rose an empty Soul
ready for the tender noose
of slavery to the Social Demands and Expectations
of people I hated.

How beautiful was the wintered breeze of Dawn.

                                                                     ...Toffears

...we watched it burn,
all of it.
Gone,
rather than let it fall and be soiled.

"I wish I were 20 years younger"

We watched it burn.
All of it,
lost and wasted.

                                          ...Toffears

...Words and Bullets
at the speed of Sound,
Hailstorm, Hailstorm,
come the Summer breeze
followed by the sun.

                            ...Toffears

...and beyond the lies, you answer...

"Waste no Time...
For you have left
a Perishable Body
in a premeditated act
worthy of a confession..."

                                         ...Toffears

...links be cut...

Isolation,
Emancipation,
Liberation.

A name uttered...

Failing contact.

              ...Toffears

...I hold irregular beliefs.

The heart is deceased
but the beating remains...

                           ...Toffears

...upon the sigh of her drunken breath...

     "Time be given,
     Life be shared,
     Wealth be stolen,
     Love be spared...

     Lost upon a dour evening or
     sold around the square,
     a kiss, a room,
     and the Devil may care.

     Ghost words to a stolen love story.
     So shall we leave..."

...all she did was wait...


                                               ...Toffears

...The Kapellmeister
will make us dance.

The Opera, voted.
Our voices heard.
The promises...
We laugh.

Home, we dance.
And dance again, we shall.

The streets,
voices, unheard.
The promises...
We fight.

Protecting the Power.

​The Working Man Vs the Working Man.

                                                  ...Toffears

...it was all there in the folder,
on the desk in written letters.
The judgement 
and the sentence.
Undeserved,
unrepentant.

And so it was.
And so it was.

                                ...Toffears

...I am adicted
to punishing this body
for the sake of others
and by the way
it is perceived.

                      ...Toffears

...nous nous quittâmes sans regrets et sans larmes.
Un simple passage entre deux êtres, deux âmes.
Un sourire et un geste de la main,
ce fût la fin de la nuit... le soleil du matin.

                                                                     ...Toffears